We discovered spanking……and began to use it as our topping…….We spanked and our sex lives rocked…..
We turned plain vanilla into a sundae of sexual flavours.
Many of us employed this erotic discipline as more than just a sexual fantasy…… more than a means to a delightful sexual romp……. For some, spanking as a sexual toy led to spanking as a method of communication : a way to set mutual boundaries, a relationship tool used to resolve conflicts that occur in every relationship. Utilized carefully, the nasty ways in which two people can fight can be virtually eliminated. The only silence heard is the pause between smacks……….. those hurtful verbal silences stopped.
After the spanking ends, the talking begins. That is what it is designed to do…… Spanking allows for boundaries to be set and each household creates their own definitions and their own rules. The guesswork is removed…. assumptions are no longer the order of the day… both must communicate effectively for domestic discipline to work……. both must agree that domestic discipline is something they want and need.
As with any tool, there are rules to the spanking :
Safe words apply. There must be consent. Without mutual consent, informed consent…. it is called abuse.
Care must be taken when bringing spanking into a home.
There is mutual accountability and responsibility for behaviour. The phenomenon that occurs when domestic discipline is brought into a household or relationship is that manners begin to improve on both sides. When manners are restored, there is less energy spent on arguing and bickering and more is spent on love and sex……… can’t argue with that !
When people are involved in spanking and domestic discipline as a life style, they are both accountable to the rules…. makes for a more equitable relationship.
First and foremost…..take your time. Expecting your partner to automatically absorb the script that has played in your thoughts is unrealistic and dangerous….. the birthing of an idea is inordinately painful, always takes too long…. in the end, worth the wait. misconceptions and misunderstandings can be avoided if both understand that all behaviours take some time for adjustment. be kind to each other….. respect each others needs and desires. Always talk to each other about everything. Never assume the other can read your mind.. say what you mean and mean what you say. Say please and thank you and hold hands while crossing the street. Hug often and spank well and frequently.
There is a whole universe out there with many different flavours of sexual ice cream.. Taste them all and remember to add the toppings.
We remember, all of us, what it was like to be alone with this need.
We thought we were perverted.
We discovered we were healthy.
Above all, never ever lose your sense of humour.