The use of safewords in spanking is a matter of personal preference. Their use is highly recommended for first time meetings and parties.
When spanking partners meet for the first time, it is difficult to accurately judge the others wants, needs, ways of expressing themselves, reactions, tolerances etc.. This communication is built up over time. So there is no misunderstanding, partners can agree beforehand on the safewords to be used.
Safewords are of two types, one to slow down or the second type to stop. ” Mercy ” is the most popular word to slow down. Words to stop generally mean either to have break or to stop the session permanently. Stopping permanently presents the spankee with the dilemma of not being satisfied with the spanking verses the pain of the moment. If the one for stopping is used, the spanker is bound to stop.
Safewords should be easily to say and understand, colours are popular, viz green, yellow and red. Do not use words that may be used in a spanking context e.g. Stop, you are hurting me. (Some spankees get a thrill out of trying to talk their way out of a spanking or have it’s force reduced, it is all part of their game. This type of play is the hardest to judge at the first meeting.)
Just as the spanker is obliged to stop when the word for ” stop ” is used, the spankee is bound to only use their safeword(s) in earnest. If they flippantly use these words they may (deservedly) end up with a harder spanking than they had planned on. It is also on their own head (and bottom) if they do not use their safeword(s) as required !
Again, and this is up to personal preference, but keeping up a conversation during the spanking will help to gauge if the spankee is reaching their physical limit and is starting to run out of breath. Similarly, if the conversation becomes disjointed, it is a sign of mental fatigue. (Another cue is the spankee’s body language, especially tenseness and excessive kicking.) The conversation may be within a role play scenario or a general ” How’s your Father ? ” type .
A proper warm up reduces the need for safewords. Another suggestion is to allow an additional two to half a dozen blows after the stop word is used. Spankee’s often remark that these last few are the most memorable from the session. (This is at the ” No, I can’t take it anymore stage ” and NOT recommended for the first time.)