Spanking consent

SpankingLife is a top site on the internet search engine lists for the terms ” Adult Spanking Advice “, but really the correct terms should be : ” Consensual Adult Spanking Advice ”  . But since few have heard of the word “consensual”, we left it out of our site description.

This page deals with how consent for a spanking is given and is not a legal reference. We do not give legal advice and the law seems to make an ass of itself in this area, in different ways, in different jurisdictions.

First, a few words on the other terms, “Adult ”  means that nothing on this site should be taken to relate to anyone other than someone that has attained the age of 18 or 21 etc, has full contractual capacity etc. under their local laws. Children are excluded unless expressly included.

  • ”  Spanking  ”  is as defined on the  TERMINOLOGY  Page. It excludes striking any area other than the buttocks.
  • ” Advice ”  is just that, again we do not claim to be Professionals, Counselors etc., but we do have considerable experience on the area of adult spanking. Always remember the Free Advice is worth what you pay for it!
  • ” Consensual  “  means that two or more adults have freely agreed to engage in reasonable spanking activity. Of course, even this is now in doubt after the so called Spanner Case ( R v Brown & Others HoL [1991] ). By ” reasonable  ”  we mean, taking into account all of the circumstances, that the activity is not excessive. ( A six foot male beating a much smaller ” inexperienced ” female with a cane with any force is excessive. ) Breaking the skin may be a crime which may not be consented to. Someone under the effects of alcohol or other drugs may have diminished or no capacity to consent to participate in spanking activity. A parallel is suicide, where committing suicide is not a crime, but helping a person to commit suicide is a crime. ( Presumably, the prosecution of the dead presented too much of a problem! )

( We purposely do not raise the issue of the making public of knowledge of a ” spanking “. Rarely ( Thank God! ) do we have a DONOVAN  like situation, with a person walking into a police station to report that she has been caned. But concealing a crime may be an offence ( see :  Misprision of Felony  etc. ). )

Consent implies that participants fully understand what they are agreeing to and they have an obligation to ensure that everyone involved has the same understanding. The more ” experienced ” a participant is, the more they are obliged in this area.

Consent may be withdrawn at any time, by any or all participants, see  SPANKING SAFEWORDS  and  SPANKING SAFETY . ) It is the responsibility of the person being spanked to make certain that the spanker(s) fully understand this condition. It is incumbent on the participants to ensure that the person being spanked is not under undo physical stress during the course of the spanking.

All of the above requirements are fairly easy to understand, although the matter of what was said at the time may be hard to establish later. Now we come the matter of what is called ” constructive consent “ , where participants may, by their actions imply consent. The sexual seduction of a person is an example of ” constructive consent “  where the person being seduced makes no attempt to stop, and assists with ( say verbally or by making small movements ), the seduction. Applying this form of consent to adult spanking is problematical. A person being enticed over a lap could be regarded as ” constructively consenting “  to being lightly held in that position, and then consenting to an open hand being placed upon their bottom, followed by a pat, followed by a light slap, followed by a smack etc. If a person has been told that they are going to be spanked, and they assist by getting into a suitable spanking position, they could be regarded as having consented to a reasonable spanking, depending on their further actions.

There is no consent present when a person is grabbed and held down to have their bottom thrashed with a hairbrush. ( That is unless all of these actions have been agreed to before or the person is your spouse! ) This type of consent is a  ” general consent “  to being spanked. In other words, the participants understand that a general type of spanking is to take place and the precise execution of the spanking is left up to the participants.

Needless to say, our and other SPANKING PLANS  are generally not worth the paper they are written on.

All of the above may be a little confusing at first but it is basically common sense ( except where the law is involved ), it is an application of the Golden Rule, ” Do unto others as you would have done unto you .” .




Sadomasochism : Painful Perversion or Pleasurable Play ? – Bill Thompson [ ( London, Cassell, Villiers House, April 1, 1994. Hardcover : 288 pages – soft cover available, ISBN : 0304343072 ) ]
An important contribution by a criminologist from Reading University ( UK ), specializing in sexual morals and crime. A strong defence of the right to practice ” BDSM “.

Just and Painful :  A Case for the Corporal Punishment of Criminals  – Graeme R. Newman [ ( New York, Macmillan,  1983. )]


IS BDSM ILLEGAL ?( English )

( Rv Donovan KB [1932]. In the early 1930’s a man called Donovan caned a seventeen year old girl at her request. She then reported him to the police for… )

R v Brown and other appeals [1993] 2ER 75 ( PDF ) 
( English )


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