What A Sub Expects From Her Dom

This is a post from Luiza. We had a discussion about this question, and here is here answer. Enjoy!

spanked in public


I need to feel safe. Before I can begin to open my submissive nature to you I need to feel safe and have reason to trust you. To let down my walls and give you control of my will may take time and testing before I feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship. Even after I’ve given myself to you fully, I need to be reminded I am safe with you. I may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how you stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, I will remain safe in your care.

I need to know you accept me for all that I am. I will be many things to you as our relationship grows and I need to know you accept me as a person during each transition along the way. I need to know you accept me as a friend, lover, companion, and your submissive ; also
accept me as parent, child, employee, community member or other roles I fill in my obligations to family or society.

I need to have clearly defined limits. I need to know exactly what you expect of me and know that you also understand my limits. In some ways I am like a child that needs a fence around my play area so I know how far I can go and feel secure inside those limits. I need you to reinforce those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without your approval.

I need you to be consistent. I need to know you mean what you say and that today’s rules will apply to tomorrow’s behaviour. Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals by allowing me to break rules that you have given me. From time to time I may test you to see If you are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently bringing me back to the path you have chosen for me. It’s not done to try your patience but is my way of finding reassurance you are paying
attention to my progress. Very often its not done consciously and I promise I will not use it as a method for provoking your negative responses.

I need to expand my limits. I need to grow and to be challenged. Left on my own, I’ll become bored or stagnant within the boundaries I accepted in the beginning. I need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the places I have been. I may drag my feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse to move because I am unsure and need your guidance in overcoming my obstacles. I depend on you for strength and encouragement to get beyond them.

I need you to teach me. I need to learn and you are my teacher. My mind is hungry for new things and learning helps me to become all that I can be. This may require you to continue to learn new things in order to keep me challenged. Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have and deepen the diversity that we share.

I need goals. Part of my make-up as a submissive makes me very goal oriented. I need them to measure my progress and I need you to provide them for me in ways that allow me to comprehend your plans for my growth. Without your direction I quickly become lost so I’ll look to you frequently to provide a purpose and aim as I continue in my development as your submissive.

I need to be corrected. I need you to correct me when I make mistakes. Without your correction I will develop bad habits that can be very difficult to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us an individuals. Without your correction, I may never know I have made a mistake. Allowing me to continue unchecked will only cause me to fail both of us in the end. I admire firmness in your correction and feel secure in knowing that you will never be afraid to take the necessary steps to keep me focused on the goals you have set for me.

I need you to be my role model. I look up to you and try to follow in your footsteps. If you fail to live up to a standard, I will follow you into failure, often without you noticing until it is to late. I learn quickly by the examples you provide for me and often base my reactions and behaviours on my observations of you in similar situations. I will blindly pattern myself in your image so be aware that my eyes will always be on you as you face your own challenges and daily activities.