A short spanking guide

This page has a few practical spanking tips for novice and experienced spankers. Enjoyment of spanking involves good communication and understanding. This page applies to all  ” SPANKING MIXES “ .


Spankers need to be able to play the part of a stern disciplinarian etc. to bring their partner’s  SPANKING FANTASIES  to life. Use the right  WORDS and PHRASES  for the situation. Practice body language including posture (  keep the body erect, hands on hips, finger pointing) and facial expressions (frowns, stern looks etc.). Be able to show emotion (controlled rage and anger, disappointment, etc.. Be able to deliver a stern lecture.

(From our  FEMALE / MALE  Page, but applies to all  ” SPANKING ” MIXES ” .)


Hi ! Can you give me any advice or tips on “lecturing” before a spanking ? I am female, in a hetero relationship, and i am the spanker (mostly). From what i can gather a lot of men enjoy the “lecturing” part of the punishment. I would like some advice because sometimes i just am not sure if i am rambling on too much, and i would like to make it better for my partner. Thanking you in advance


Hello, To set the context of your question, this is from our FAQ Page :

A Punishment spanking may start with a period of waiting ” go to the bedroom “, ” I am going to spank you when I get home ” etc. A verbal dressing down may be given, some can even make the recipient cry before the spanking occurs. A ritual method and positioning can be used, making the recipient wish that they would just get on with the spanking. There is no warm up and the spanking starts at full force, generally on the bare bottom. Tears, promises to be good, pleas to stop and marks should have no effect, you are spanked until the spanker is satisfied with the punishment. The spanking may not be with your consent. A period of bare bottom ” Corner Time ” can follow, if you touch or rub you are spanked again. Another lecture can be given. These spankings should be memorable, even years later. True Punishment spankings, as outlined here, are not very common in domestic settings. See  Domestic Discipline in Relationships.

The ” Dressing Down ” referred to may be very cold , clinical and succinct, this is very effective if you can project your voice as many teachers, mothers (and other actors)  are able to. If you prefer to use more words, try appearing to give the option of talking you out of the spanking, which of course will not be successful . Always remain in control.

Remember to set the scene in other ways by pointing, exhibiting implements, moving a chair into position etc. Men are very visual , let him have a good look at your lap before he goes across it etc (make a point of smoothing your clothing).
The preparation of clothing, either under direction or you can do it whilst he remains still. Use military style commands, (” UP “, ” DOWN “, ” BEND OVER “, ” ARCH YOUR BACK ” etc), I have attached a short video clip to illustrate this point.
I would suggest trying variations of the verbal element of your spanking technique until you find the most suitable for both of you. I would keep a distinction between spankings for pleasure and discipline…………


A spanking is a little like a theatrical production, see our SPANKING AMBIANCE  Page.


Stimulating the bottom by mixing various sensations during a spanking enhances the overall effect. This may be done by changing implements from hard (wood) to soft (leather) and massage, especially using finger nails or a backscratcher.



Hot and cold sensations are particularly useful as the recipient can not tell the difference between them without other cues. Ice and candle wax is widely used to produce this sensation. (Be careful where the hot wax goes !)


Blocking out the recipient’s sense of sight and / or sound is another way of concentrating spanking sensations.


The spankee should keep their legs slightly apart, especially in the Over the Knee position, this makes their bottom flatter and exposes more of the inner cheek area. (Crossing the legs controls the urge to kick the legs but also creates tension within the glutaeuinal muscles in the OTK position .)



It is important that rings are removed, they can damage the skin of both participants. Fingernails should similarly be kept short. Long fingernails and skin can be protected by wearing a leather glove.


1 Comment

  1. I am in my 70s and enjoy an occasional visit to a professional for a spanking session. What is the best, if any, way to reduce the pain in order to extend the session? For example would taking Ibuprofen before the session help?
    Many thanks

1 Trackback / Pingback

  1. Spanking For The First Time – SpankingLife

Comments are closed.